Ukrainian women: fact and fiction

A startling Sunday stroll down Khreschatyk Street in Kiev...

At some point many visitors to Ukraine will take a weekend stroll through the historic center of Kiev in warm weather and end up on Khreschatyk Street, which is closed off to automobile traffic on Sundays. If you're a man, you are likely to be blown away by the number of beautiful women nonchalantly displaying their scantily clad bodies. Drop into a nearby cafe, and you'll see many well-dressed Ukrainian women with a slim and honed appearance. Stop for a meal at TGI Friday's and you'll find yourself ogling and being ogled. Head to a nightclub and you'll be bedazzled by carefree, gyrating "devushki." Open your mouth and say something with a fine British, Scottish, or Australian accent (American might work, too) and you're an instant winner. "I must be in heaven," you wonder.

This is fact, not fiction. Ukrainian men and visitors from Russia and other Slavic countries also come away with the same impression (though they often don't get the extra points with women that western men do simply by virtue of being from a wealthy and prestigious country).

What is different about Ukrainian women?

Compared to women from many western countries, including the United States, Ukrainian women have a number of things going for them that contribute to their attractiveness:

• The art of attracting a male is well-developed in Ukrainian culture and is generally viewed positively, not negatively.
• In Ukraine it is very much frowned upon for a woman (especially of fertile age) to become obese, not take care of herself, or have a "mousy" appearance (too bad this expectation doesn't apply equally to Ukrainian men).
• Helping out Ukrainian women is the fact that almost all of them must walk a lot and are thus unable to develop a flabby and untoned appearance even if they do become overweight. Also, unhealthy fast foods and overly processed sweet and fattening foods, though more abundant, are less common than in the West.
• Spontaneity, emotionality, and a carefree and humorous attitude are valued in Ukrainian and Russian urban culture. Women are largely unhindered by prudishness, moral prohibitions, or an inability to take things lightly.
• Ukraine lacks the confusion regarding gender roles and paranoia about sexual harassment that has become characteristic of the United States.
• Ukrainian women probably identify less with their careers and usually do not feel an imperative need to be independent from men. On average they are more comfortable with typically female roles and do not need to compete successfully with men or even outdo them to feel empowered.

For your average male these traits are all desirable. In Ukraine one can often hear foreign men gripe about the women in their countries: "unrealistic financial expectations...", "too success oriented...", "don't take care of themselves...", "not nearly as feminine..." For such men, Ukrainian women can be irresistable. They tend to have lower expectations and to be more domestic, feminine, and attentive to their appearance.

Are Ukrainian women really the "most beautiful in the world?"

Other than Ukraine, the author has also visited a number of other countries (Slovakia, Poland, and Russia) where people also claim that their women are "the prettiest in the world." In these countries, foreigners are often asked with a wink what they think of the local women. Visitors to Ukraine often note the larger numbers of stunningly attractive women in comparison to their own countries. There are several factors that contribute to this impression other than the actual beauty of Ukrainian women. Consider that some of the perceived distinctive beauty might actually turn out to be a kind of "optical illusion."

• Almost all foreigners in Ukraine spend their time in big cities where the women are more fashion conscious and of higher social status. At home, they spend their time in suburbs. In Ukraine, they stroll around central areas of town; at home, they spend their time at work and shopping centers. As tourists, they are exposed to a different category of women than they tend to see back home.
• Ukrainian cities have more public areas where large numbers of people are "on display." To get the same effect in the U.S. or West Europe you might have to go to the local indoor shopping mall.
• With higher population densities in Ukrainian cities, there are simply more eye-catching women per square kilometer than in your typical low-density American suburb.
• In the U.S. or West Europe a post-college life can easily turn into a monotonous "work-home-work-home" routine where your only contact with freely roaming young women is limited to the supermarket or Walmart. In contrast, Ukrainian society and infrastructure provides constant close contact with strangers, include attractive women that you might not see at your job.
• Ukrainian women tend to dress in tight clothing (even many heavier women), while loose, androgynous clothing is more popular in the West. This makes Ukrainian women by comparison appear slimmer and curvier.
• Most men will be paying attention to the "under 45" category. Obesity over this age is just as prevalent as in the U.S. or West Europe.
• Few foreigners venture into the smaller towns and villages where things may be very different. Here, robust chunkiness and little makeup (maybe just some dark red hair dye) are often the norm, even for young women. Women and their husbands and boyfriends may even be teased if they are too thin, and it is common to hear expressions like "(she's) chubby and pretty" or the word "emaciated" rather than "thin."
• If women from other countries (the U.S. and others) dressed and made themselves up like Ukrainian city women, might they appear similarly attractive?

To get a more well-rounded picture of Ukrainian women after being dazzled by the beauty being displayed on Khreschatyk Street in summer, try spending some time on minibuses in outlying neighborhoods of the city in winter. You will find that obesity is rampant among women who have had children (and among men over 30) and that most women are in the "plain" category. Unable to dress scantily due to the winter cold, you may well find even the young women to be about as appealing as those back home.

There is also the significant issue of personal taste. Many men will be immediately taken with the prevailing "femme fatale" fashion, while others will find it over-the-top and trashy. I must confess that after some years in Ukraine I have come to view much of the fashion as gaudy, pretentious, and tiresomely uniform. More and more, I find myself inadvertently noticing how women are so often less attractive than they make themselves out to be.

On the other hand, I note how so many women of plain appearance who seem frumpy and indifferent in the United States have Ukrainian counterparts who dress up and take care of themselves to accentuate their better parts and compensate for the not-so-perfect. I do not believe that the Ukrainians have any inherent physical advantage. Recently I visited the university town of Ann Arbor, Michigan and was positively blown away by the number of good-looking girls -- no fewer than on Kiev's Khreschatyk Street.

What chances do I have with Ukrainian women as a foreign man?

Let's be frank. If you're a western male of European descent, your chances are probably pretty good. Turks and Arabs don't do very poorly, either. Coming from a developed country immediately places you a rung or two higher in status compared to your Ukraine-born "competitors." If you go to an economically depressed small town or village, you may practically feel like a god. As an average bloke in your home country, you may find yourself flattered and spoiled by attention from women the likes of whom you rarely met back home. At the risk of seeming overly cynical, here are some tips to maximize this advantage:

• Stick to situations where you can preserve your fragile foreign allure. Avoid situations where you might look like a bumbling fool alongside skilled and experienced Ukrainian men, such as trying to solve uniquely Ukraine-related problems on the fly. Leading an English conversation club full of young women and confidently teaching them new phrases is good. Clumsily complaining to a restaurant administrator about poor service in front of her is not.
• Present yourself as a foreigner (i.e. speak English for that "wow" factor rather than introducing yourself in faltering Russian/Ukrainian), but appear knowledgeable about things that would be relevant to a typical Ukrainian. For instance, try to learn and use some basic Russian or Ukrainian (after you've caught her interest), learn about the local history, culture, geography, and politics. This will give you lots of fun small talk material and will make you appear less self-centered.
• Don't dress like a slob (your local "competitors" certainly won't). Don't seem desperate or preoccupied with sex. Don't expect to circumvent basic courtship by flashing dollar bills, giving a girl a cheap gift and suggesting you've done her a great service, or otherwise letting on that your "superior" citizenship allows you to "buy" her so easily. Preserve a sense of dignity even if the materialistic factor is obvious.
• And finally, for the rest of us expats' sake, please don't assume that all foreign men in Ukraine must be "sexpats."

Where to pick up women
It's easy -- any place expats are known to frequent. That's where the women who are looking for people like you will be. This includes western restaurants (TGI Friday's, not McDonalds), Khreschatyk Street, Irish pubs, English classes with native speakers, English language movie nights, public meetings advertised in the English language newspaper The Kyiv Post, tourist hangouts (for instance, Andriyivskyy Uzviz in Kiev), and especially nightclubs. Beware though that these places can also have women who like to take advantage of foreigners. There is also a good chance of meeting women while traveling or engaging in other activities.

Now toss that passport out...
At some point into a serious relationship, if exporting your bride to your home country is not an imminent prospect, your citizenship will cease to be a major factor. It could even become an impediment if cultural conflicts arise and your girlfriend realizes that some things would be easier if you were a Ukrainian. Your privileged passport will only get you so far.